[Cerpen] Ketika Mas Gagah Pergi - Helvy Tiana Rosa

Mas gagah berubah! Ya, beberapa bulan belakangan ini masku, sekaligus saudara kandungku satu-satunya itu benar-benar berubah!

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MELUPAKAN -- Tere Liye

Ketika kita mencoba melupakan kejadian menyakitkan, melupakan orang yg membuat rasa sakit itu, maka sesungguhnya kita sedang berusaha menghindari kenyataan tersebut. Lari. Pun sama, ketika kita ingin melupakan orang yg pernah kita sayangi, hal2 indah yang telah berlalu. Maka, sejatinya kita sedang berusaha lari dari kenangan atau sisa kenyataan tsb.

Kabar buruk buat kita semua, mekanisme menyebalkan justeru terjadi saat kita berusaha lari menghindar, ingatan tersebut malah memerangkap diri sendiri. Diteriaki disuruh pergi, dia justeru mengambang di atas kepala. Dilempar jauh2, dia bagai bumerang kembali menghujam deras. Semakin kuat kita ingin melupakan, malah semakin erat buhul ikatannya.

Bagaimana mengatasinya?

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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (2)

Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk

One of the biggest differences between men and women is how they cope with stress. Men become increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. At these times, a man’s needs for feeling good are different from a woman’s. He feels better by solving problems while she feels better by talking about problems. Not understanding and accepting these differences creates unnecessary friction in our relationships.


COPING WITH STRESS ON MARS
When a Martian gets upset he never talks about what is bothering him. He would never burden another Martian with his problem unless his friend’s assistance was necessary to solve the problem. Instead he becomes very quiet and goes to his private cave to think about his problem, mulling it over to find a solution. When he has found a solution, he feels much better and comes out of his cave.
If he can’t find a solution then he does something to forget his problems, like reading the news or playing a game. By disengaging his mind from the problems of his day, gradually he can relax. If his stress is really great it takes getting involved with something even more challenging, like racing his car, competing in a contest, or climbing a mountain.

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To feel better Martians go to their caves to solve problems alone

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COPING WITH STRESS ON VENUS
When a Venusian becomes upset or is stressed by her day, to find relief, she seeks out someone she trusts and then talks in great detail about the problems of her day. When Venusians share feelings of being overwhelmed, they suddenly feel better. This is the Venusian way.
On Venus sharing your problems with another actually is considered a sign of love and trust and not a burden. Venusians are not ashamed of having problems. Their egos are dependent not on looking “competent” but rather on being in loving relationships. They openly share feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, hopeless, and exhausted. A Venusian feels good about herself when she has loving friends with whom to share her feelings and problems. A Martian feels good when he can solve his problems on his own in his cave. These secrets of feeling good are still appli- cable today.

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To feel better Venusians get together and openly talk about their problems

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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1)

Each day millions of individuals are searching for a partner to experience that special loving feeling. Each year, millions of couples join together in love and then painfully separate because they have lost that loving feeling. From those who are able to sustain love long enough to get married, only 50 percent stay married. Out of those who stay together, possibly another 50 percent are not fulfilled. They stay together out of loyalty and obligation or from the fear of starting over.

Very few people, indeed, are able to grow in love. Yet, it does happen. When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, pg. 6-7
#JohnGray

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Nasehat Perantauan - Imam Syafi'i

Orang yang berilmu dan beradab tidak akan diam di kampung halaman
Tinggalkan negerimu dan merantaulah ke negeri orang
Merantaulah, kau akan dapatkan pengganti kerabat dan kawan
Berlelah-lelahlah, manisnya hidup terasa SETELAH berjuang

Aku melihat air menjadi rusak karena DIAM tertahan
Jika mengalir menjadi jernih, jika tidak kan keruh menggenang

Singa jika tak tinggalkan sarang tak akan dapat mangsa
Anak panah jika tidak ditinggalkan busur tak akan kena sasaran

Jika matahari di orbitnya tidak bergerak dan terus diam,
tentu manusia bosan padanya dan enggan memandang

Bijih emas bagaikan tanah biasa sebelum digali dari tambang
Kayu gaharu tak ubahnya seperti kayu biasa jika di dalam hutan

Imam Syafi'i
(767-820 M)

*Semoga dapat diambil hikmah dan pelajaran sehingga engkau semua termotivasi, Kawan*

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[POEM] Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

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